Loss
by moonstone glows
Summary: The team's points of veiw at losing one of their own
1. Nambu

Nambu

He is gone, the first child I took into the team, back when he was only four years old, has fallen.

He didn't die in battle though, I think in many ways that would have made it easier for those left behind, he died so pointlessly, so needlessly, hit by a drunk driver while he was out on a date.

I still feel the chill that came over me when I opened the door to the police at 2am, I don't think it will ever leave my bones. The chill that told me before they said a word that I had lost one of my children, that the planet had lost one of it's defenders. It was so much worse than I had thought though, when they said the words. The Eagle, the lynchpin, the bedrock of the team is gone, and I am not entirely sure the team can stand without him.

I stand a little apart from them, watching the four remaining members of the team trying not to fall apart, trying to hold it together as they drop roses onto the polished surface of the coffin. Ryu, Jun and Jinpei huddle together, taking what comfort they can in the nearness of the others. Joe stands alone, at the foot of the grave, looking down at the coffin. I know the others would comfort him in a heartbeat, if they thought for a moment that he would allow it, but he exudes an almost physical barrier between himself and the rest of the world.

In my heart of hearts, I know that Joe will find a way to follow his lover out of this world, and much as it grieves me, at the funeral of my son, I am already working out in my head strategies for replacing two members of the KNT.


	2. Jun

Jun

I can't believe we are here like this, I can't believe we are burying Ken today.

The winter sunshine makes me feel oddly angry, it should be raining today, the world should be mourning the loss of Ken as much as we are. I watch the roses dropping down onto the glossy surface below us, and feel the warmth of Ryu as he comes to stand at my shoulder, offering what support he can. I pull Jinpei close to me, feeling him trembling.

He doesn't quite believe his Aniki is gone, none of us do really, it just seems so bloody stupid. He survives assassination attempts, crashing mechas, explosions, poisonings, stabbings and gunshots from Galactor, and he is killed by some idiot who was too drunk to drive, and too stupid to know it.

I look at Joe, wishing that there was something we could do to make this easier for him. He loved Ken so intensely, they were so strong together, I could never have been to Ken what Joe became, and now Joe is lost, broken, and he won't let any of us in.

I wonder if anyone else realizes that we have lost them both to this.


	3. Ryu

Ryu

Everything feels out of place, feels as if we fell through a looking glass and everything is warped on this side.

Ken isn't supposed to be dead; he was our leader, the best of us. Stronger, faster, smarter, no matter how much Joe might have sniped at that last point.

I thought it was the weirdest thing either of them had ever done, when they got together. People seeing them interacting sometimes thought they hated each other, the way they bickered, hell, there were times I thought they hated each other, the way they went head to head so often. When they got together, I thought they would never last, that it was just sex, another way to let off steam, one that didn't mean them fighting. The day I realized they were serious about their relationship was they day they went to face Harkase together. They balanced each other, once the UST was removed from the equation, balanced all of us, and now he's dead, and I don't think anything will ever balance again.

Joe and Harkase are hit the worst of course, both are shattered by this. Joe has lost his lover, his soul mate, his center. Nambu has lost the young man who was as close as he could get to having a son of his own.

I comfort Jun and Jinpei as best I can, we share the pain, trying to stop it overwhelming us. My eyes drift back to Joe as he stands as far away from us as he can get without leaving the graveside, and for an instant, his eyes meet mine. I hold Jun and Jinpei tighter as I read the future in his dark gaze. His gaze promises death, bloodshed, as he heads to reunite with the one he has lost. I find myself actually pitying any Galactors who get in his way, while at the same time, hoping the asshole who took Ken from us finds himself on the wrong end of the Condor's shuriken.


	4. Jinpei

Jinpei

It isn't fair, it's not fair. Why is he dead? He didn't deserve this.

I don't want my Aniki to be gone, Ken is dead, Joe is planning something to get himself killed too. I hate the man who did this, hate him. If Joe doesn't kill him, I think I will.

I wish Joe would take me with him when he goes to do whatever he is planning, but I know he won't, he will follow his koibito into the next world, and we will have lost them both, because one person was too damn stupid to know they shouldn't be driving.

I wonder if the others are as angry as I am, as Joe is. Ken led us, risking our lives to keep the world safe for people like that, and this is how he is repaid, cut down on the first date he and Joe Aniki had time to go out on in months. They had so little time together.

It isn't fair, it's not fair. Why is he dead? They didn't deserve this.


	5. Joe

Joe

Everything seems to be in black and white now, the last of the color in my world is gone. Even here in the bright sunlight that shines down over the cemetery, everything is dark, colorless. I look at the others, I know they're all mourning his loss, just as I am, but I can't connect with them, they grieve for him, but they can't feel the sickening twists of agony that rip at me every time that night comes into my head.

They weren't there when I was on my knees in the road, unable to avoid his blood as I begged him not to die, holding his hand. That was the last color I remember seeing, red, the blood on his face in the light of the headlamp of the car that hit him. Everything else was washed out, even the usually vibrant blue of his eyes as the life left them. The others all came later, into the sterile world of the hospital, where he lay connected to multitudes of machines, giving the illusion of life. I knew he wasn't there though, that he was gone, I felt him go. So I kept quiet, when Hakase gave his permission for the machines to be turned off, said nothing as the monitors screamed their mournful dirge, and didn't hear any of what they said to me after.

Ken is waiting for me, whatever is beyond this world, wherever he is, he's waiting for me, so I will go to him. I've made my plans, everything is in place, and with any luck, I will take Gallactor with me, end their grip on the world.

I know the others would go with me in a heartbeat, but that isn't in the plan. If this works, it will be my last gift to my beloved, hopefully an end to the war that we have all fought to long, freedom for the others.

Condors and Eagles, they mate for life. That is what Ken and I had chosen, and that is why I trust that we will be together wherever we go from here.


	6. Nambu once more

Nambu

I look at the stacks of files in front of me, and wonder if I can do it again, if I want to, if I should.

The final act of Joe's life bought the Earth six years of peace, because when he died, he took the upper echelons of Gallactor with him, and without them, the rest faded away. Now though, there are rumblings of a new threat, or an old threat with a new face, and I am faced with the task of building a new team to fight them.

Ryu, Jun and Jinpei are still alive of course, but they can't fight in any new war, Jun is pregnant with her and Ryu's first child, they have their own concerns now, and Jinpei was pensioned out with PTSD before he was eighteen. They have promised that they will help me with the children I find, that I won't have to do it alone this time. They will help me raise them, and train them, and talk them through what to expect from the implants, but before then, I have to find them, five children to mould into a new team.

There are more files than there were the first time, more orphanages, more orphans, the last war left plenty of both. I'm tired now, and I can't face this anymore tonight, I take my glasses off and rub my eyes. Tomorrow, I have an appointment at one of the older, better established orphanages, the manager there knows what I'm looking for, she helped me search last time, that's enough for tonight.

xxx

My meeting with Margot Salazar is almost done when there is a knock on the door, and a harried looking care assistant ushers two boys in, looking apologetic.

They are scuffed and battered, bloodied but unbowed, and my world tilts as I catch their defiant eyes. One pair blue, one pair brown, and I know them, I know the souls behind those defiant glares. I know the tilt of their heads that says they don't fear whatever punishment is meted out for their transgressions, and my hand is over my mouth as I try to figure out if I want to laugh or cry.

Their names are Mark and Jason, they're five years old. They're not related, but Margot says they have stuck closer than most brothers since they both came in four years previously.

They are still bound together then, reincarnated into the world. They're too young of course to know if their relationship will follow the same course as it did in their previous lives, or a different one entirely, but I want to see them grow up so that I can find out.

They won't be part of the team if I can help it, but they will be coming with me. They may not remember me, or they lives they lived before they were born to this one, but I have my fallen children back, a chance to see them grow up again, and I am going to grab it with both hands.

Owari.


End file.
